The Country of Marriage

I give you what is unbounded, passing from dark to dark,
containing darkness: a night of rain, an early morning.
I give you the life I have let live for the love of you:
a clump of orange-blooming weeds beside the road,
the young orchard waiting in the snow, our own life
that we have planted in the ground, as I have planted mine in you. I give you my love...

Wendell Berry

Thursday, May 22, 2014

My life as a human incubator...

It all started with potato chips... I was eating them every day.

I don't like potato chips.

Then we made broccoli my favorite way to go with dinner... I couldn't stand the smell. I didn't touch the broccoli. I have still had a small aversion to broccoli, though not as strong.

My period was late, but I still didn't think I was pregnant... I had cramps like I would be getting my period any day.

It didn't come.

So... I peed on the stick, just to make sure it was clear to me, I got the one that says "pregnant" or "not pregnant". Pregnant the little stick told me. I was so flustered, I told my husband while he was talking to someone on the phone.

Then there was some bleeding... maybe I got my period after all? Where is the stick, pee on one again. Still pregnant.

Had a melt down at the doctor's office... still pregnant. I never heard of implantation bleeding?

Felt like I was going to vomit... all the time. Sustenance mainly being ginger-ale, cheerios, crackers, candied ginger, and banana/milk/cocoa smoothies. All I want is red meat- steak, burger, anything... give it to me.

Dad made spaghetti and meat balls.... couldn't go anywhere near it, it made me sick... what is this irrational thing happening with my stomach?

Now all I want are bagels with cream cheese... all the time. After a week, I don't even want to be near a bagel and cream cheese- my stash goes bad.

My stomach decided to be unreasonable again... now I HAVE to have burritos from Roburritos... and this craving lasts about 3 weeks. I start wanting them at 10a, it gets so bad I cry. That's all I want to eat, everything else in unappetizing.

3 weeks pass... I don't want any burritos... still haven't wanted a burrito.

My body, its rounder all over. Jeans aren't zipping, bras aren't hooking. Finally decide its time to get some maternity clothes. Its pretty nice not having to zip or button anything.

Ultrasound... there is our baby, our sweet little baby with a tiny face... its a GIRL! Husband and I are so excited. Oh wait, the mid-wife is worried that there is something wrong with her heart... Time to see a specialist.

The specialist, so kind. Told us there is nothing wrong with our baby. Her heart is ok. Breathe easy. She is in the 94th percentile...umm...

Sleep? What sleep? I am so sore the moment I touch the mattress. My body is rebelling against all these changes. I sleep in a fortress of pillows... where did my husband go? Maybe he is under the pillows? There he is... sleeping. I want to push him out of the bed for being able to sleep when I can't. No, I won't do that... too much work, I can hardly roll over.

I am starting to really look pregnant, now people are asking me if I am pregnant, no longer wondering if I am just putting on a few pounds. Hardly any of my normal clothes fit any more... looks like its maternity clothes for me.

Eating for two takes on a new meaning... I don't really need that much more food, but I am paranoid that what I am eating is what baby is eating.

My boob is burning. Call the midwife, I have mastitis. Go on antibiotics.

Routine appointment... midwife is concerned my belly "fundal height" is measuring small. I need to see a doctor and get another ultra-sound. "Poor fetal growth" Stressed. Take the glucose test. Failed.

Schedule appointment for Gestational Diabetes class. Get even more paranoid about what I am eating.

Go for growth ultra-sound... Ultra-sound technician looks confused... asks why I am there. "The midwife was concerned my baby is too small" technician looks at me... "I see nothing small about this baby. She is measuring in the 96th percentile" Yay for big babies? Doctor is concerned my baby might be too big... talks about c-section.

Let go of all my preconceived notions of how delivery will go. She will come out whatever way is best for her.

Take Gestational Diabetes class... start checking my blood sugar 4x a day. No numbers out of range. Doubting whether or not I have GD, but to be sure, I will keep checking sugars.

Maternity clothes... why is my belly hanging out? Maybe I need to get bigger clothes? I only have 7 weeks left... is it really work it?

So uncomfortable, baby girl is running out of room, apparently she is trying to tell my lungs and ribs to get out of the way. I think we both might be getting ready for her to come out.

Hot... AC turned up... husband is turning into an ice cube.

and waiting.

Soon we will have another ultrasound... see if our little girl is still so big according to the drs.

My cousin told me... There is a reason God makes babies on the insides of our babies... they are a secret. No matter the tests the doctors do, baby girl is still in God's hands, and the doctors can't really see in there. Only God can.

Rest in His sovereignty. Its hard.

Sister-in-law tells me... God created this baby in me... only He knows if she is too big or small.


Monday, February 24, 2014

Pregnancy- Week 20

It's been...
3 bran muffins
2 large cups of orange juice
2 cups of coffee since I pooped.

Welcome to the constipation stage of the game.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Job opening at LBC

Hello Everyone!
I thought I would put out there that Lancaster Bible College is currently looking for someone with housekeeping experience to be a Housekeeping Supervisor. I think the job would be pretty fun, day time hours, supervising 20 or so students (who are pretty awesome!). As far as actually doing housekeeping, most of the job is supervisory/administrative, which some light housekeeping.

If you have a heart for college students, and have housekeeping experience, please, take a look! The link is here. 

You would have full benefits, plus tuition assistance at the college.

If you know someone who might be interested, pass the word along!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Oil Pulling update..

So I have been oil pulling for 6 days now, I thought maybe I should post an update!

The process of oil pulling no longer makes me want to gag. I am actually starting to like it! Its a nice way to wake up, swishing coconut oil around for 20 minutes. I really like the coconut taste, and by the time I am done, my teeth feel pretty clean. 

Speaking of my teeth, they are also noticeably whiter! Woot! 

Other side affects? I haven't really noticed anything. 

listen to me

This weekend we had some friends over for lunch, and they brought their toddler. The toddler stage is so fun, and it was fun to watch this little girl's interactions with her parents. One thing that she did a lot, was that she while we were talking with her parents, she would reach up and put both hands on her dad's face, and pull him facing her and start talking. She would do this pretty frequently, and it was so cute, seeing her little hands on this adult face, essentially saying "Listen to me!"

I was reflecting on that this morning, how often do we wish that we could grab someone's face and say "Listen to me!" because we can tell that they are distracted or not interested, or maybe they just don't hear us. Too bad we are not as forthright as this little girl.

I am sure, if we are truly honest with ourselves, we can think of many times that people have probably felt that way with us.

Thankfully, we have a heavenly Father who ALWAYS listens to us, and we don't need to grab His face and say "Abba, LISTEN", because He is waiting... maybe, we just aren't talking to Him.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Oil Pulling?

I know... I am an awful blogger. I will blog and then... stop... for a long time.
I think, mostly because I lack inspiration. Where does it come from? How do you get it back?

Anyways. This morning, I tried something called "Oil Pulling". I almost gagged. It was so gross.

Most likely, you have no idea what it is, because I had no idea what it was until yesterday. You put a tablespoon of vegetable oil- most people say you should use sunflower oil, or flax oil, I used coconut because it is what I had- in your mouth first thing in the morning. You then swish the oil around in your mouth "pulling" it between your teeth. Oh, and you do this for 20 minutes. Then spit it out, clean out your mouth, and go about your day.

What is it supposed to do? It is supposed to rid your mouth of all sorts of nasty bacteria that you can't rid just by brushing. It is also supposed to help whiten your teeth...if you look it up you will see all sorts of benefits listed. I won't list them all because I am a bit skeptical.

So, I "oil pulled" today. As I mentioned- super gross, but I decided to try it for a week, just to see, just because I am curious. I took my tablespoon of oil first thing in the morning, and since I am not going to wake up any earlier to do this, I swished and pulled while I took a shower, washed my face and got dressed. That put me at about 20 minutes and not behind schedule- woot! Any results today? Not really, though it did feel like my teeth and gums were a little more sensitive this morning. The oil pulling really did clean my mouth out.

Anywho, I will let you know how it goes.

Last weekend we went up to New York to visit the family and go to a bridal shower for one of my best friends. It was so nice to see everyone again, even if it was such a short trip! Below is a picture of grandpa that I really like... because he found something really funny :)

I have been studying a lot about marriage lately, and biblical wifehood. I will share more of my thoughts some other time on that.

- the Neglectful Blogger

Monday, June 4, 2012

Tasty things...

Here is a picture of the baked oatmeal:
It turned out a little custardy... maybe I should have only used one egg. It was good, very filling. Not very sweet, we like to put berries and milk on ours. Next time I might try adding a banana... or using a darker maple syrup (I had used grade B) but I like a stronger maple flavor.
I also made biscotti because we had some friends over. I made it whole wheat and used organic ingredients. Triple Chocolate Biscotti and White Chocolate Lemon Cranberry Biscotti. I'll post the recipes next time.

We did not end up going to Green Dragon Market however, it was raining and there were tornado warnings. Crazy! I was still willing to give it a try...  but Jesse was not. Instead we went to Central Market in Lancaster the next day. I LOVE shopping at the market! The only thing we could not get at market were some chocolate chips for the biscotti.

Random notes: I am so excited that my lavender plant seems to be thriving on our porch! I just love it.

And there is this little Amish boy who lives across the street from us. He is the cutest kid ever! I love to watch him out our window. He is always running around with his dog, either he is following the dog or the dog is following him. You can just tell that this little boy is in his own world, and that his dog is his best friend. Sometimes he explores the creek, or seems to be swordplaying the weeds along the road, but usually, he is chasing his dog and it is the cutest thing!

Tonight, I made Indian food for the kids, Red Lentil Curry, Naan bread, Indian spice chicken, and Mango Lassi. It was so fun, I thought the kids would rebel against this new food, but for the most part they actually liked it. They also knew nothing about India, so it was fun to talk about India, where it is and what the culture is. We looked up pictures online and the girls had a lot of questions about why their lives seem so different from ours. We watched a video on National Geographic about India, which also talked about Hinduism. It was neat to talk to them about God's truths and different religions and to be able to process that a little with them. It was definitely the highlight of my day!